I'm now at my parent's house. To be more precise, my brother's room. The iTunes is blaring Still by Hillsongs and I'm physically and emotionally far from it. I think I lost myself today.
Work ended at 6am this morning, sleep was erratic, clocking in back to work at 2 and quick hours of work, I'm off again. I'm really off.
Where is all this heading to?
I had the worst badminton thrashing this week, and when I say it, I really do mean a heated thrashing. I'm still sore and recovering. A sprained right ankle, an absolute strained shoulder and I even strained my elbow this time. Basically, I'm limping in more ways that one on my right side. I'm not pleased with my performance, it's like whip of rain splashing you to shore just when you thought you had swam to the other side. It looks as if you're just playing with water by the shores.
My physical fitness is really out. I can honestly feel it, everything has dropped quite a few notches. Bad diet, poor sleeping pattern, optional meals, pants reaching the peak of it elasticity at work (I need to stay off those work doughnuts). Top mass shedding to fine bony structure to grind weakness. I have been saying this, I need to get back in - but my problem is, how do I find the time to commit?
Time is of such an important essence right now and it's so difficult to manage it because it may just leak out of your pocket anytime, it's like option sharing even, when you spend with others likens like you're treating someone to lunch. Something's gotta give. The most concerning part is this - I have missed a big bulk of having meaningful conversations. Heartfelt moments where I could relate with my persona and much to learn from.
Even with best planning, things have still been unsettling, you could end your day in bed. But the mind still challenges you in its most direct hit - your thoughts. And you toss, you turn, u even rise but you're dejected. To be refilled with words, a story and a written piece that normally energize me requires time and effort. And, that's tough - when you're entirely zonked out for the day.
I have already cut back on so many appointments of meet ups just so I may find time for myself, which was initially for my own development. Now it's just setting aside time to rest.
So, this is the marketplace.
And I have chosen to be here, and strongly feel that He has put me here too.
A place where the landscapes changes daily before you, a war zone at its finest when territories are endangered. Being fast is not good enough, being there is where you want to be.
God,
I am so tired. So tired from everything.
I don't want to run on auto pilot anymore.
Jesus, please take the wheel.
Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind ~ (Ecclesiastes 4:6)
:: I remember those handful moments so vividly. My eyes shine, laughing lines stream around my sides and my smile was most genuine and comforting. I just want to wake up every morning and that person greets me at the mirror. Lord, I'm asking for your assured presence.
Work ended at 6am this morning, sleep was erratic, clocking in back to work at 2 and quick hours of work, I'm off again. I'm really off.
Where is all this heading to?
I had the worst badminton thrashing this week, and when I say it, I really do mean a heated thrashing. I'm still sore and recovering. A sprained right ankle, an absolute strained shoulder and I even strained my elbow this time. Basically, I'm limping in more ways that one on my right side. I'm not pleased with my performance, it's like whip of rain splashing you to shore just when you thought you had swam to the other side. It looks as if you're just playing with water by the shores.
My physical fitness is really out. I can honestly feel it, everything has dropped quite a few notches. Bad diet, poor sleeping pattern, optional meals, pants reaching the peak of it elasticity at work (I need to stay off those work doughnuts). Top mass shedding to fine bony structure to grind weakness. I have been saying this, I need to get back in - but my problem is, how do I find the time to commit?
Time is of such an important essence right now and it's so difficult to manage it because it may just leak out of your pocket anytime, it's like option sharing even, when you spend with others likens like you're treating someone to lunch. Something's gotta give. The most concerning part is this - I have missed a big bulk of having meaningful conversations. Heartfelt moments where I could relate with my persona and much to learn from.
Even with best planning, things have still been unsettling, you could end your day in bed. But the mind still challenges you in its most direct hit - your thoughts. And you toss, you turn, u even rise but you're dejected. To be refilled with words, a story and a written piece that normally energize me requires time and effort. And, that's tough - when you're entirely zonked out for the day.
I have already cut back on so many appointments of meet ups just so I may find time for myself, which was initially for my own development. Now it's just setting aside time to rest.
So, this is the marketplace.
And I have chosen to be here, and strongly feel that He has put me here too.
A place where the landscapes changes daily before you, a war zone at its finest when territories are endangered. Being fast is not good enough, being there is where you want to be.
God,
I am so tired. So tired from everything.
I don't want to run on auto pilot anymore.
Jesus, please take the wheel.
Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind ~ (Ecclesiastes 4:6)
:: I remember those handful moments so vividly. My eyes shine, laughing lines stream around my sides and my smile was most genuine and comforting. I just want to wake up every morning and that person greets me at the mirror. Lord, I'm asking for your assured presence.
Hey Soon Wei,
you aren't alone on that thought. Even my physical level is terribly unhealthy at the moment. A lot of late nights, which I have found I'm not being entirely productive, too many mamak sessions after rehearsal equals a bad diet. Hope your efforts have been better over the past couple of weeks in getting back into a fitness regime.